8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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