Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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