He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize