Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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