Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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