Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
