it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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