Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
