I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize