ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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