i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
