Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
