Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
