I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
