he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My ass is underappreciated
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize