Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Say something about gay babies.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
