ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
