What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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