im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
