ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
