There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
