IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize