Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
