I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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