Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
