i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
