I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Mom said you looked used
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
