He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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