My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
