Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize