people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
