she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
