He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Mom said you looked used
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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