"it" just moved
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize