You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
