I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
