Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
