how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
