Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize