Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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