How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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