I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
