so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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