I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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