Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
