Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
