For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
