awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
