when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
