Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
