Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
