also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
