Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
