Do vagina's smell?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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