I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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