She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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