good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
