We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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