Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
