Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
