Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
