will power is for people who don't want to get laid
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You made out with two different species that night
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
