I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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