Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize