At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
