So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
