I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize