Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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