Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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