my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
