are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
