it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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