I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
