I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize