Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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